Oh man.

Today I met the woman I am in my head.

She of the ethically-conscious, environmentally-responsible, sling-wearing type. She exists! She has swaddled three sons in cloth nappies. She buys ethically sourced wooden toys for their amusement. For the love of Pete, she feeds her family vegetarian food lovingly cooked from scratch. (I suspect that she knits too). In all honesty? She reminds me of all I am not. I want to hate her guts. I can't. She's too nice. Damn.

See? This is what comes from attending parent and baby groups. Next time I feel the urge to converse with another human being over the age of six months I shall sit on my hands until the feeling passes.

At least I recycle.

Before M was born I was convinced I was going to use cloth nappies. I spent hours researching the pros and cons of each brand and was ready to order the full birth-to-potty kit. The money I would save! The smugness I would feel!

I remember mentioning it to a few friends who had children. It's really important to me, I said, to consider the environmental impact of my choices. We admire you, came the very British response, but maybe you should get some disposables too, just in case.

What they meant, of course, was that I was a lunatic if I thought I'd have the time/mental capacity/strength of feeling to actively engage in saving the planet with a newborn in the house. I mean, really. At this rate the planet is just going to have to take care of itself until the boy is 18.

It is armed with this knowledge that I bequeath my one and only cloth nappy sample (unused, still in its envelope) to another soon-to-be mum. By all means try it, I shall say. You might want to get in a few disposables too, just in case. Here, have some of mine.